As your child gets older, they'll eventually get to the stage to ask about where babies come from, which is quite difficult to answer. You want to be honest, but you don't want to disclose too much about sex to young children. Luckily, there are many ways to handle this situation without scaringly giving away too many details to your child too soon. Here are some approaches you can take.
Where Do Babies Come From?
1. Answer the Exact Question Your Child Asks
Find out specifically what your child wants to know and respond in a way that's appropriate to his or her age. A four-year-old and a six-year-old may ask the same question, but want to find out different things. For example, the four-year may just need to know where you got his/her new sibling from, but the six-year-old could want to find out how they were "planted" in your womb.
2. Try to Determine What You Child Already Knows
When being asked, "where do babies come from?" you need to find out what your child's current understanding about pregnancy is and what they want to know now. For example, if you say that the baby is in your tummy, not your womb, the child may ask how it fits in there with all the food, or become confused about the whole thing.
3. Choose Your Words Carefully
Again, your children may get scared or puzzled if you use the wrong words. Some parents will use the correct terms for body parts with their children, but others choose different words. You don't always have to be explicit; for example, a uterus may be described as a special organ within the mother's body where the baby grows until it is ready to be born. However, if you say that the baby is growing in its mother's "tummy", "stomach", or "belly", this may scare the child into thinking they could get pregnant too.
4. Explain the Facts Without too Much Details
Give an answer to the specific question your child is asking, but don't give any more or less information than this. For example, if he or she asks how the baby gets out of your body, describe this in the simplest way you can. Nevertheless, you don't want to give a blow-by-blow account of procreation. Some small tidbits are more appropriate instead of giving long explanations.
5. Picture Books Are Helpful
Using children's books is a great way to explain the question, "where do babies come from?" in a suitable way for a preschooler. Have a look in your local bookstore or go to online parenting forums for recommendations.
6. Be Honest
You can use your child's questions as an opportunity to play show and tell, using a book or other material. When they're old enough, you can explain that the baby is growing in your womb and when the baby is born, he or she will pass through your vagina. Using accurate terms is important so your child trusts you to be honest on sensitive issues. This way, you're laying the groundwork, so they know they can always approach you when they need advice on more-depth or challenging sexual issues in the future.
7. Speak in an Easy-Going and Matter-Of-Fact Way
Try not to show your child if you're embarrassed about their questions, as even very young children can tell if you're uncomfortable. Make sure you're relaxed and open – this sends out the signal that sexuality is a normal and healthy aspect of adult life.
When the baby asking you the question, where do babies come from, it's a sign that he or she wants more information and trusts you to provide it. Be matter-of-fact in your answer, but don't give too many details unless your child specifically asks for them.
8. Involve Your Child in Your Pregnancy
If you are carrying a baby, just involve your child in your pregnancy. Encourage your child to talk to the baby and feel your belly, and take them on shopping trips so they can help you choose baby clothes. You can also take your child to pre-natal appointments so they can see the baby develop through ultrasound images. This helps your kid bond with you and their new sibling, and to appreciate your pregnancy.
Other People's Answers
1. Be honest but don't tell all
When I first questioned my parents about babies, they told me that babies live in their mothers' tummies. After nine months, the mother goes to hospital, where the baby comes out. This gave me a good overview, before I found out the specifics at middle school.
2. It's God
When I was pregnant with my second child, my 4-year old son asked me how the baby came into my stomach. I explained that it was due to God answering mummy and daddy's prayers for a new baby. He then asked how the baby would leave my belly, and I said that this is a miracle. Even though we're not that religious, this is a good way to avoid sharing too many gory details with children so young.
3. Metaphor helps
Don't give your children too much information too soon – when I was six, I still believed in Father Christmas! I think the best way to tell children about babies is through metaphor. When the time comes for your child to know more details, you can use your old metaphor again, but be more specific. This will all depend on how mature your child is and what they can handle at each age.
4. Love makes it
One option is to tell your child that babies are created from an act of love between their parents. Mummy and daddy love each other so much that the love overflows and a baby then develops in mummy's tummy. This isn't the most accurate of explanations, but it is appropriate for young children, and there is some truth in it. You can explain more details as your child gets older.