Teaching sex to kids depends greatly upon what your child wants to know and the age at which they start asking questions. Unlike the old “birds and bees” talk with your child, which was considered a one-time discussion, sex education should be tailored to their age and should consist of many discussions, not just one.
Sex education for the younger child usually starts with a discussion of basic anatomy, such as how girls and boys are different. Over time, your child might ask specific questions. The key to open communication is to never be shocked by those questions, and to answer them as fully as you can. And if you don’t know the answer, look it up together!
Sex Education for Boys
It is important to remember that in this day and age, kids get information from everywhere, and some of it is not helpful at all. That’s where parents come in. Sex education should begin at home, where the parents can give accurate information about the things that concern their children. It is very important to be up-to-date on the latest issues and research, so start right now by looking into sexual topics and being ready to answer the questions that your child might have.
Talking to boys about sex can be easier than you think. What matters is keeping a very straightforward, matter-of-fact attitude about it. Sex is something that we will all experience in our lifetime, and so it pays to know about it long before it is time to have it!
Explain to Them About the Basics
From a very early age (2-3 years), sex education for boys includes using the appropriate names for body parts, and a brief explanation of how girls are different – once the child asks, of course. But soon they will be ready for more information, such as how babies are made and born. By the age of five or six, a child is old enough to understand the literal means by which birth happens. By a bit older, they might start to question just how the baby got there in the first place.
To answer questions like these, be very straightforward. “Mommy creates an egg, and Daddy creates a sperm, and they join together to form a baby.” When the child begins to ask questions about intercourse, be gentle yet clear. “The male and female bodies fit together like puzzle pieces; it’s how we were made. When Mommy and Daddy fit together, the sperm had a chance to reach the egg inside Mommy, and that made the baby.” This explanation is a good place to begin with your own tailored explanation for your child.
When Your Child Gets Older
Sex education for boys changes as they get older. Soon they will be old enough to understand that sex is something the world is preoccupied with, including the media and some of their peers. They might ask more targeted questions, such as what birth control is and how their bodies actually work. When these questions come, it’s time to sit down and have some frank discussions about the changes in their bodies, what sex really means, how to stay safe, and more.
You should also use this opportunity to explain to your son the true meaning of sex, intimacy, relationships and love. It is important to impress your best values upon them, and make sure that they understand sex is a powerful thing, something that can be used as a way to show love for someone – not as something that should be “used” in any way to hurt or demean others. By making this clear from a very young age, a child will grow up with a healthy respect for their bodies and for the sexual act.
Your Attitude Matters a Lot
How you act when your child asks a question can hold just as much weight, if not more, than the actual answer does. When your child asks a question, don’t laugh or giggle, try not to be embarrassed, and make it clear that you are glad they asked. This will help them feel much more comfortable with asking more questions in the future, and that attitude will come in very handy when they are teenagers and thinking about having sex for the first time.
Finally, don’t hesitate to turn to the internet for help in explaining things to your child. Make sure that the sites you choose to visit are reputable and reflect the values about sex that you hope to instill in your children. Sit down with them and talk about the articles they find there, answer any questions they might have, and make sure – again – that the conversation is open, friendly, fun and honest.
To learn more about sex education for boys about birds and bees, this video is a great way to begin. Sit down and view it, then consider viewing it with your child.
The following links provide more information about sex education for both boys and girls.
HERE you can find more examples of what they ask and how to answer.
HERE you can find what questions to expect from preschool children and school-age children.
HERE you can find more examples, including what teens ask about sex and how to explain to them.
And this link outlines what kids of different age can understand about sex clearly.
